You Are So Selfish!

Or Are You?

An unfortunate side effect of living in a society is the confusion around being selfish vs. what is necessary self-care. For most of us, we are taught that they are one in the same. And if I had one wish, it would be for the word "selfish" be banned from everyone's vocabulary.

When we call someone selfish, we are ultimately asking someone to not care for themselves over caring for us. We are, in fact, being incredibly selfish in calling someone selfish.

To say someone is selfish is always a form of manipulation. In calling a person selfish, you hope they will stop doing what they wish to do and do what you want instead. Can you see how selfish that is??

Self-care is really lacking in our culture. We just don't know how to do it. We learn to take care of each other, but no one teaches us how to do it for ourselves. We may know how to handle basic hygiene (bathing, brushing our teeth, going to the doctor), but the really big issues, like handling intense feelings, financial stability, regulating our biological needs through inner-guidance....well...these are mostly foreign concepts. We turn to others, we turn OUTWARD, when these things need attention.

Wouldn't it make sense for me to become obsessed with my own self-care? Wouldn't I ultimately be so fortified and energized that when I do meet you, I can give my very best to you? And should you not need me, my best or otherwise, we can simply meet and take each other as whole and complete people. Without agendas. Without manipulation. Without needing anything from one another.

That's self-sufficiency. That's the ultimate in societal care. Selfish in the pursuit of the kindest thing we can do for one another.

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