The Truth About Conflict
(It Almost Never Exists)
The reason why being right is wrong is because it causes arguments, which usually ends-up breaking trust instead of building it. Our goal all along has been to BUILD the trust. And having to be right is the granddaddy of all trust-breakers.
Mostly, true conflict is non-existent. That got your attention, I bet. But it's true. You could call what we fight about, misunderstood agreement and be closer. But your TRUE goal and my goal are almost NEVER in conflict.
Let's say we argue about politics. The argument's purpose, at its core, is that we both want to live in a country that represents our views and values. That IS NOT conflict. That is AGREEMENT. We just have a different GUESS/VIEW to the right way to get the outcome of such a country.
When two parents argue about how to discipline their child, they are NOT in conflict. They BOTH want the child to turn out happy and high-functioning. How to get the child to that state is a guess or a viewpoint on each parent's part. And it's that guess or viewpoint or method, to get their child to that SAME GOAL, that is in conflict, not the parents. They want the SAME THING.
So consider that as you go about today, telling people how it should be done, how they should believe, how they should do a task, how they should drive, whether they should vote...we all want the SAME THING at the core. We all want happiness and fulfillment.
And we have taken our best guess as to how to get that, happiness and fulfillment, but no one knows the answer FOR SURE. We are guessing. And when my guess is different from your guess, we call it conflict. Not so. We want the very same thing.
There is NO CONFLICT.
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