Instructions for Relieving Stress
Stress Reducer: Instructions for Ending Stress
Instructions for Relieving Stress:
1. Get pen and paper. Notice the graphic above. This can't work if you are just reading.
It is very hard for the mind to hold onto your current interpretation of reality. That is why it is important that you WRITE DOWN THE THOUGHT at first. It's too slippery to hold in your mind and do this process at the same time.
2. Write down the thought that is bugging you in this format:I am stressed because
TIP: Don't be kind or spiritual or professional with this process (finally---permission to judge and pout and rage!). You will get better results if you share your REAL THOUGHT. Don't use the cleaned-up-for-company thought.
So this may look like:
"I am stressed because my boss should acknowledge my contribution."
Or even better...
"I am stressed because my boss doesn't see or appreciate my contribution. And this means that I'm not viewed as a vital part of the team."
"And this means that.." is a very useful phrase to add in this process, as it typically gets you to the REAL thought vs. the commonly expressed (politically correct) one.
3. Take the core thought and isolate it on the page.
"MY BOSS DOESN'T SEE OR APPRECIATE MY CONTRIBUTION.
I AM NOT VIEWED AS A VITAL PART OF THE TEAM."
The first thing you ask yourself (as you may have seen on other pages from this site) is:
"Is this really true?"
Is this really, truly, absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt---TRUE? How do you know? Have you had access to every thought of your boss? Do you know what she says about you when you aren't there? Have you ever heard even ONE thing that was contrary to this? Has your boss EVER complimented or thanked you?
If you were in front of a firing squad, and you would be shot if someone came forward with information that your boss DID see you as a vital part of the team...would you take the risk?
And you will find the answer is, "No. I can't be 100% sure this is what my boss thinks of me."
How did I know that? Because...
Every Stressful Thought is Untrue
What you just read/went through, is the process that you will use, every time you feel stressed. Eventually, you will come to the (correct) conclusion, that if you are feeling stressed, you have a thought that is skewed, exaggerated, dramatic, or only partially informed.
In other words---it's not completely true. If it were? You wouldn't be stressed.
Again, this is why you must write down the thought. Your brain will alter the original thought, modify it, tweak it..so that it keeps being right. You will keep making your thought true as you begin to realize it isn't.
This is why people say, "You can be right, or you can be happy." Your brain's job is to make you right. It is YOUR job to make you happy.
But we aren't done quite yet...
All Stressful Thoughts Are True in Reverse
The next step is to ask yourself if the OPPOSITE is as true, or even MORE true, than the original thought. Here's how it looks:
"MY BOSS DOES SEE AND APPRECIATE MY CONTRIBUTION.
I AM VIEWED AS A VITAL PART OF THE TEAM."
Is this as possible? Can you find three genuine, sincere examples of where this has been true? Write them down.
"I DON'T SEE AND APPRECIATE MY BOSS'S CONTRIBUTION.
Another opposite could be :
I DO NOT VIEW MY BOSS AS A VITAL PART OF THE TEAM."
Is that true? Is that even truer than your original thought? Have YOU complimented your boss? Have you told her what you feel she contributes?
If you just had the thought, "That's not my job" I'd run THAT thought through this process too. I know that can't be true!
Lastly, and this one may sting a little, but it's almost always true as well."I DON'T SEE AND APPRECIATE MY OWN CONTRIBUTION.
I DON'T VIEW MYSELF AS A VITAL PART OF THE TEAM."
This must be true. How? You seem to need your boss to confirm it. You can't see it yourself, so you need outside proof. And when your boss didn't give it, you blamed her.
You may be thinking, "Well, hey! I'm the one who is stressed. The least she could do is relieve it!" And again...I am going to ask you, "Is that true?"
Who is in charge of relieving your stress? YOU are in charge of relieving your stress.
No one can do that for you.
You Are Unique
Congratulations on being one of the few who read this page through in its entirety and tried the technique. It's free, it's easy, it works...and hardly anyone does it.
Now that you have this tool, you will find that you sleep better, you eat better...hey...you may even try that yoga class. When your THOUGHTS are in alignment with reality, stress goes away.
Is that true? Yes. It really is that simple.
Back to "How to Relieve Stress (Part I)"
"Stress Reducer" to "More Work Stress Solutions"
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