Love Your Job?
Is It Possible--Even If It's Stressful?

Q: According to an article in TIME magazine from 2007, a Gallop poll found that about 77% of Americans hate their jobs. What is the main reason(s) you find that people are unhappy at work?

A: I find that most people are unhappy at work because they believe they are not in control or have no say in what happens to them. The other variation on this theme is we see ourselves as being overpowered by those who we believe are in control.

While we do have org. charts, levels, and titles in place in most organizations, these are more about function, and ensuring coverage of phones, or making sure people aren’t fudging on their timesheets. The environment of management in their ivory tower is over (or it will be soon). An individual contributor can have as much impact on an organization as a management member today. Sometimes they have even more opportunities for creativity and trying something out of the box.

Most of us who are not in management see supervisors and managers as tyrants, or at best, a necessary evil. There may be some really hateful managers walking the halls where you work, but the majority are NOT trying to make you miserable (at least not on purpose). Anyone who is truly twisted will be discovered and dealt with. You don't need to be the catalyst.

Q: Over 40% of surveyed workers said they find their jobs "very stressful." What tips or techniques from your book '101 Ways to Love Your Job' would you recommend to these workers?

A: I do have tips in the book for stress management, but in '101 Ways to Love Your Job', I take stress management much further then most authors on this subject. I know from my own experience with stress, that it is my opinion of an external event or in other words my thoughts and feelings about an event that create my stress.

I've come to realize that I almost always only have partial information or a slanted view of the stressful event, and that with some honest and humble assessing of my mindset, I can alter my opinion significantly and realize that my view was much harsher then the reality of the situation. The first half of 101 WTLYJ is almost completely dedicated to this kind of shift in your thinking. Changing the externals almost never works. It’s changing your internal thought process that lowers your stress. It’s the difference between managing symptoms and getting at the cause of stress.

Q: What can people do to make sure they are accepting a job offer for a position they will enjoy in the long run? How can they have a better understanding of the environment they are going to be spending 8 hours a day in?

A: What is hopefully becoming more and more clear in the modern interview process is that applicants are assessing the employer just as critically as the employer is assessing the applicant. Applicants should come to the interview with their own set of questions.

While these need to stay related to the job and the workplace environment, there is no compelling reason to just ask about current articles in the news or recent acquisitions made by the employer. Applicants often ask these ‘pie-in-the-sky’ questions to show the employer they did their research. It’s impossible to get a feel for the workplace culture from a newspaper article or a website. You have to ask the questions that are important to you.

It isn’t going to hurt your chances for being hired if you ask, “How does your department work with parents who are balancing work and home schedules?” If the answer isn’t to your liking, and you accept the job anyway, trying to change the culture or procedures after hire is going to result in a lot of unhappiness. And it’s not like you weren’t warned. It’s like marrying someone who doesn’t share your basic values and you marry them anyway hoping you will change them over time. It just doesn’t work that way.

Q: In these difficult economic times, finding a new job is not always an option. What can someone do if they want to leave their current job, but they haven't yet located a new employment opportunity?

A: In my first book ‘101 Ways to Have a Great Day @ Work’, the first entry suggests that you reflect back to your first day at work. The excitement, the reality that someone did find you a match for their organization, no more waiting and wondering if you would get the job. Why did you accept the position? What were the things that excited you or made you feel relieved or even grateful? Write those down and remember to read these from time to time. These pluses and perks can become part of the scenery and we start to look for what’s not working instead of what is. It’s really just a matter of where you put your focus. Why not put your focus on what is a plus while you are looking for a more suitable overall work environment? It’s your call what you think all day and this is in your control.

Q: What would you say are the main reasons someone likes their job? Dislikes their job?

A: The main reason cited in surveys for liking your job is the social relationships. Ironically a lot of management members out there try to squelch socializing and off-site lunches and other bonding activities, but the social relationships built around the trials and tribulations of the normal course of an employee’s life is what keeps people from turning over. We know we are liked where we are now…but will they like us at the new job?

Not receiving acknowledgment for their contribution is the #1 reason people look for a new job. This can take many different forms, but bottom line is (whether you are a supervisor or a peer), you must speak the positive thoughts you have about your coworkers. Regular, specific, sincere praise is worth so much more than an annual increase. While more money is always a good thing, the research suggests that we are motivated by an increase for only 6 weeks. We are motivated for 3 weeks when we receive praise from a coworker. You usually only have one increase per year, but praise can happen anytime, anywhere. Do the math.

Q: Many of the writers and seminar leaders are teaching concepts like 'The Law of Attraction' and healing at the level of thought. How do these concepts apply in a negative workplace situation?

A: For those who may not know what the ‘Law of Attraction’ is or haven’t seen “The Secret” the definition is basically what you think about or what you focus on will be drawn to you. If you think about your stress, your unfair boss, and your gossiping coworkers all day---and talk about them all night once you get home, then guess what? You will create more of the same. There is an enormous amount of data and books and DVDs for those that would like more information on this (including many free resources on my website work-stress-solutions). But all you really need to remember is: “What you focus on expands. “

Healing your thoughts, says that everything we experience externally begins with a thought. If there is illness in the body, there is a false idea in consciousness that needs to be brought to the surface and examined. Likewise, if you are repeatedly finding yourself with a boss that you dislike or dislikes you, then there is a false idea, belief or paradigm in your subconscious that also needs to be brought to the surface, examined and healed.

Q: What are some things that may create employment satisfaction issues in the typical 8-5 M-F "My Boss Hates Me" kind of employment experience? What can someone do to work with these common stressors?

A: There are plenty of books that provide you with the skills to either deal with a difficult person or confront them effectively. In '101 Ways to Love Your Job', I ask that you only use these techniques after you have a firm self-understanding of your strengths and are clear on the areas where you are not strong. You must tackle and master those things that are in your way. Dr. Stephen Covey of '7 Habits' fame says, “If you think the problem is out there, that very thinking is the problem.” Author Byron Katie has a similar view, as does Debbie Ford. You must look at your thought processes, your judgments, your unhappiness and stress and see it as self-created.

This may sound harsh, but where else is it coming from? We see people not as they are, but as we are. People are our mirror. What you don’t like in someone else, you don’t like in yourself. In '101 Ways to Love Your Job', I provide you with techniques and information to gently start shifting your view toward this eternal truth. Once you have self-mastery, you can then use these things we call “people skills” and they will work. They will not seem like manipulation or like you are technique-ing someone, but as a sincere interest in communicating better with a key coworker.

Q: It’s easy to see how a business owner or author or seminar leader may be able to create a positive work environment and make a real difference with their clients or customers. But is it really possible when you work for someone else? What about employees working for, say, a large corporation where profit and loss are the measure of success? Can an employee in this situation really be able to find personal fulfillment at work?

A: The workplace is no different then any other arena that involves relationships with other people. These are ideally viewed as your ‘spiritual assignments.’ Whether you are religious or spiritual (or just not sure), there is a force at work that is greater than our own understanding. I suggest you see this force-- that makes the Earth rotate and controls the tides-- as also at work in your career. Your coworkers are the perfect people for you to be interacting with. They are the ideal experience for you to grow and learn. How do I know? Because they are before you, right now.

It doesn’t matter if you are the boss or the mailroom guy. Everyone has the ability to learn and teach others. See your job as a cashier as a way of teaching you how to stretch your emotional muscles and as a vehicle for spreading your version of kindness to those you meet—esp. the angry and sullen ones. They need it the most!

Think of your job as a 'church' of sorts---that this job is a spiritual assignment you have been given. Now view your relationships and conflicts and new challenges as a way to expand your consciousness or, your soul, if you will. Things start to happen with ease and there is an increasing lack of conflict. Work is seen as a privilege and no longer a burden.

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