Don't make me ask : stressing out over getting the cold shoulder
by Jo
BUT if I am getting the cold shoulder and I'm NOT stressing out over it - then I can let is slide and wait for the day where they have sorted it out themselves and things go back to 'normal'. What I've realised is when I wait for them to come to me (hell. . .it's their prolem - not mine). .. is that I am not coming from a place of Love, but from fear of confrontation / conflict. If I want to be able to walk my talk - I need to approach and them and say 'Hey - I'm get a feeling that somethings going on for you. Do you feel that I did something to upset you?' Once I tell them it was unintentional, and they get their learning from their experience - Life at work with my colleague goes back to 'normal'. It's a bit like bullying in schools. . . they say there are three parties to bullying 1. the bullies. 2. the person being bullied and 3. the bystander. School kids are taught the bystander is just as much a bully as the bully themselves. So for me, dealing with a work colleague who is giving me the cold shoulder - and doing it any other way - is running away from conflict and I am indirectly saying 'hey I'm not at fault here - all I am doing is my job (despite the fact that I am very well aware that there is a problem'). So, if I know I didn't do anything wrong why would it be a big deal about who approaches who first? Click here to read or post comments. |