The #1 Reason We Think
"This Shouldn't Be Happening"
As I mentioned on my home page, all work stress begins with a single thought. And every stressful thought is a variation on the same theme: This sucks...and shouldn't be happening. And never is that more true than with handling co-worker stress or a difficult co-worker.
How you handle difficult co-workers can make or break your success at work. In his book, People Skills, Robert Bolton states: “80% of the people who fail at work do so for one reason: they do not relate well to other people.”
If you are still holding onto the useless concept that being right is the best way to achieve success at work, then you are probably struggling harder than most to get along with difficult co-workers.
Being right is the booby prize in today's workplace. It was drummed into you throughout your entire childhood that being right was the ONLY achievement. Once you entered the workplace, you noticed that a competitive nature that forces ones OPINION on others is the best way to find yourself eating lunch alone---every day.
So, let's focus on the way to get you back on the RIGHT TRACK, and away from BEING RIGHT.
*Tools for Dealing with Difficult Co-Workers*
A communicated message involves three components: Body Language, Tone of Voice and Word Choice. I would offer that there is a fourth component that is equally vital: Mindset or having an 'at-work attitude.'
Listening skills are another facet that gets very little attention, and needs to be PRACTICED REGULARLY if your goal is better working relationships.
Below are links for developing all of these, so that you find yourself highly-skilled when dealing with difficult co-workers.
Body Language. At 55% of your total communicated message, this is worth figuring out.
Tone of Voice. Coming in at almost 40% of your communicated message, this skill will either create a lively conversation or bring it to a grinding halt.
Mindset. See this page for other "at-work attitude adjustments" BEFORE you begin dealing with a difficult co-worker.
Listening. "If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear." ~Mark Twain
Vent and Moan. Friends are the best way to get your negative views up and out, and re-focused on something that actually works (because venting and moaning only does NOT work).
Word Choice. Words are only 7% of your message. But there are still some words to avoid, if you want to avoid making things even worse.
This article on using "I-messages" correctly is also a very helpful tool when crafting your statements. Now that you have control over your body language and tone, it is time to spend a little effort on your actual word choice.
Go to I-MESSAGES article.
Another solution? My e-book 60 Ways to Deal with a Pain in the Butt @ Work for only $5.99. Quick, insightful ideas for dealing with a difficult co-worker or boss. Guaranteed. A quick read that really, truly will give you a renewed look at your office jerk.
'Difficult Co-Workers' to More Work Stress Solutions?
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