From "Walk in Dry Place"
Who are the people we really like, and like to be with? Most of the time, they are happy people, people who like themselves and others.
Being happy is almost the entire secret of being likeable. Though no person can expect to be liked by everybody, the likeable people have the inside track most of the time.
How do we become happy and thus likeable? We're continuously told that happiness cannot be found in property, power, and prestige. It is rooted instead in self-acceptance, in feeling loved and wanted, and in giving genuine service, maybe just in the form of very useful work.
From "Do the Work"
Could you be getting in your way of producing great work? Have you started a project but never finished? Would you like to do work that matters, but don't know where to start?
The answer is Do the Work, a manifesto by bestselling author Steven Pressfield, that will show you that it’s not about better ideas, it’s about actually doing the work.
Do the Work is a weapon against Resistance – a tool that will help you take action and successfully ship projects out the door.
“There is an enemy. There is an intelligent, active, malign force working against us. Step one is to recognize this. This recognition alone is enormously powerful. It saved my life, and it will save yours.”
Sonia Choquette shares a way to get in the present moment. I've been doing this a lot lately (I have an index card posted close by with these instructions). What's the big deal about being in the present moment? When we aren't, we are stressing. We are either worried about the future or replaying the past. Being in the present is THE WAY to stay un-stressed.
Visually scan your environment. Say aloud (if possible) or in your head, if not, what you see. This may sound like, 'I see a chair. I see a picture of my son. I see a keyboard, I see a stereo speaker.' Do this for about one full minute. Next, start to identify those things that please your eye or are beautiful to you. 'That painting is beautiful....' and do that for another minute. Soon you will be present again. Here. Now.
Wisdom from Ralph
'Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt creep in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.'
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Only Thing You Can Change is Yourself
Sorry about the video series! I didn't mean to post that many in a row. I was on a kick, but now I'm ready to write again.
What came up for me this morning, to write to you, was a technique or trick I use to deal with almost EVERYONE. It's ideally used all-day, almost non-stop, with everyone---not just the difficult people in your life.
I imagine everyone that comes into my line of sight as they may have been as a child. My director, flustered, irritated, in a hurry to get budget information to the higher-ups? She's now 9-years-old and in a Brownie uniform. The guy who just cut me off and FLIPPED me off in traffic? He can't even see over the wheel in my mind's eye...he's in overalls and has a cowlick and fudgsicle smears all over his face.
Why do I do this? It reminds me that at the core we are all vulnerable, ashamed of something, hiding parts of ourselves, terrified that we will lose connection with our tribes. So we create these tough-guy masks. Or these "I'm very important" masks. It's not personal. It's protection.
I know that's true for me. And I keep a picture of myself at 5 years old in my bedroom and pass it every day. I often stop and look at this picture and see the happiest of smiles (missing three teeth), the tousled hair in barrettes that I'm sure I thought was looking quite grown-up...her. She's still in me. And I have put tons of armor in place (or she did---it's hard to know at this point).
Will you try this today and see if it helps you? This is one of the "hows" I am offering to the "what" we so often hear : the only thing you can change is yourself.
More from Sonia
'I wonder what good will come of this'...say HA! to reset your brain...sing to create a spiritual fire....LOTS of good advice in this delightful video with author Sonia Choquette:
Info from Byron Katie
Byron Katie shares how you can live up to your full potential
(HINT: You're doing it right now).
Go to VIDEO
Get Up to Speed With You
You will always feel good when you are lined up with who you are and what you have.
If you don't know about Abraham Hicks, you are in for a treat. This is Abraham discussing success.
Guide: The Vortex is what most of us call The Zone. It's when we are happy and things are effortless. Abraham's goal is for us to be in The Vortex as much as possible.
Abraham's views of success.
Who in my life will make me happy?
Do I look to others when I'm feeling discouraged, sad, or lonely? Do I want someone to help me feel better?
I hold within myself the ability to be happy. I don't have to put expectations on others to make me feel loved or special. I don't have to look for a new relationship to be happy. I can find it within me. When I try to be happy because of other people, it means they have the power to take my happiness away. When I make myself happy, I'm the one in control of my emotions.
Today I will remember that I'm the one who's responsible for my happiness, not someone else. I don't have to look for someone else to fix my low self-esteem or attitude. Even though I can be upset by some people or feel happy when I'm with others, I'm the one who's creating these feelings because I have the ability to do so.
The only person who makes me feel a certain way is me.
You are reading from the book: Time to Fly Free by Judith R. Smith
I like a show called "Ruby" on Style Network. I can't really tell you what appeals to me, but I've been watching for two years now a 715 pound woman shed 400 pounds while someone follows her around with a camera.
I felt moved to write on her Facebook wall last night (where people leave incredibly inspiring and vulnerable and kind messages on her wall) and here's what I said:
If you didn't have this weight "problem" how could you have touched so many hearts? I mean, just LOOK at these comments. Maybe the last little key to this whole thing is accepting your body for the vehicle it is (in more ways than one). I bet the weight would stabilize pretty rapidly once you fell madly in love with every inch of it. Wouldn't that be something? I've always felt the same way about Oprah's weight: if she didn't have that "problem" how could ANY of us stand her? She'd be too perfect/not human! It endears me to her. I wonder if people with excess weight ever realize that some of us view you that way. Your coping mechanism for this painful world is in full view (the rest of world can sneak cigs or drink and no one is the wiser).
Then this morning, I get an email from a client and she's feeling upset about an interaction she had with her ex-spouse. From where I was sitting, this woman handle the situation with flying colors (this involved taxes and loans and the government---just two days before tax day) and I couldn't see the problem for the life of me.
I mean, it would be ideal if these situations NEVER occurred, but that's about as realistic as expecting the sun to never go down. The only option is to handle what's happening.
Both of these women are stronger than they realize...so it seems to me that ALL of us may be doing this, in certain areas of our lives. If something is really gnawing at you right now, can you see the part where you are dealing with it? Where someone is benefiting? Where you may have a "rags to riches" story five years from now that will help someone in a similar dilemma?
Problems are here to stay. The only way to live is the realization that you WILL handle whatever comes. So what's the problem?
Nature Loves a Vacuum
As I mentioned in a previous post, some mornings I just feel there is nothing to say and I wonder if that morning's entry will remain blank.
But...Nature loves a vacuum, and as I make my morning coffee and ponder what the Daily Message reader may benefit from reading, something always "pops" into my head (which in my world is "Spirit" or the "Universe"---I no longer take credit for these flashes of creativity or insight).
Last night, I woke up slightly, around midnight. I had a stomach filled with flips and butterflies, just kind of a free-floating anxiety. I scanned my mental horizon, "What's worrying me?" And, naturally, I was able to craft a list of concerns. But then, I thought this (and remember---I don't think this is ME anymore): "If you can make yourself anxious, and have it manifest in the body, you can also make yourself joyful." Plus--I really wanted to go back to sleep!
I spend enormous amounts of energy in my HEAD, trying to figure out this and that. But last night, I purposely "infused" my stomach and then my whole body with JOY. I didn't do anything with my MIND except make it "zing" my feet, my head, my upper back with pleasant sensations. Soon, my whole body was feeling light and almost tickled.
So, that's my plan for today. Whenever I feel tense or bored or unsure or any other unpleasant emotion, I'm going straight to 'joy zaps'. Call them whatever you want--they work!!
Define Your Own Self-Worth
When people praise and reprimand you, they're only providing you with their opinion and perceptions of your actions. Only if they reflect your own opinions can other people's opinions have the power to make you feel good or bad. You decide how you feel and your feelings are based on your values.
Many people go through life trying to receive praise and avoid reprimand. To them, other people's opinions define their own self-worth. But those who live their lives listening to the guidance of their hearts and souls realize that they must be true to themselves regardless of others opinions of them.
(John DeMartini via Positive Thoughts)
Meandering Spirit Musings
If you are going to wait for permission to share your truth, you'll never do it. The person that wrote this amazing article is not an author. She is no one you know. She fixes computer programs by day and has a husband and two kids in Baton Rouge, LA.
Work, Facebook, blogs...your platform to say what you are meant to say is there, right now. You don't need letters after your name for us to see you have said something important and useful.
Here's the proof:
While at work yesterday, I had the opportunity to spend some time with a coworker I rarely see. I’ll call her Alice here. Usually I avoid this individual, but yesterday I had no choice. You see Alice is an extremely angry person. Alice can go from zero to ‘vibrating rage’ in 1.5 milliseconds flat on a slow day. Alice is hyper alert for anything to fuel that fire, and will use almost anything as an excuse. And although Alice is 20 years my senior, she is a very good reflection of where I used to be.
I have to admit, while I don’t wish to spend much time in her company, it was a fascinating exercise yesterday. Almost like looking into a future that could have been mine, would have been mine, had I not chosen to change my direction, and stuck with that decision almost every day since. I felt a rumbling inside from the fragments of myself that I’m still learning to embrace and heal. They stirred a bit in agreement with her various stories of unfairness and misery, but nothing even remotely close to my former fervor. I was able to observe it all, myself and my coworker with true and honest compassion. For the first time, I saw the pain and fear under her rage as she struggled to maintain control. I could almost hear the thoughts in her head, egging her on. I understood how trapped she feels, how much anguish is inside from all the rejection her barricade of rage brings to her. I could also see just as clearly that she was not ready to face any of it. I tried a couple of times to gently change the direction of our conversation, and briefly each time, she would relax for just a moment or two. And then the next subject of outrage would hit her mind and she’d be off to the races again.
CONTINUE to Meandering Spirit Musings blog.
If you have dreams/desires, then you have a purpose. You have something to believe in and work towards obtaining. Dedicate yourself to yourself. Promise yourself a life filled with love/peace, and then whatever roads you travel will be the roads you want them to be.
(From "Positive Thoughts")
The Spiritual Playground
Remember earlier, when I stated in this Daily Message series, that work is just the playground for adults? And it's a spiritual playground, in that we have TONS of opportunity to experiment with our practices whether they include prayer, meditation, turn the other cheek, chants, spells, or shadow work.
Ultimately, all of these techniques provide you a way to change your mind. To think differently about the situation. To be shown a better way, because YOUR best thinking created internal upset. Heaven and Hell...tend to be between the ears.
So, with that said, I will share one of the things that REALLY helps me with difficult people in the workplace---that spiritual playground that has just as many bullies and kiss-asses as any other gathering of humans.
Bullying and kiss-ass'ing are survival tools. ALL negative behavior is an attempt to survive, not be rejected, ensure social inclusion. It's kid stuff. We learn it as kids. We experienced pain (maybe even trauma or abuse) and we did what worked. And we keep doing it.
Can you see that difficult person through these eyes? Imagine everyone today as 5-years-old. Ponytails, skinned knees, freckles...we were all there, no matter how we appear today. We all cried when we fell off our bike, confessed to our mom that everyone at school hated us, stood alone at the dance or party.
Okay...no long daily messages! You'll have to just jump in and try it yourself!!
I was telling a client (who is fast-becoming a friend) that I wake up some mornings and groan, thinking : What AM I going to say today on that darn Daily Message? I got nothin'!
But that never seems to be the case. And I just wait a little bit and something shows up. Either on Facebook, or my email, a Google search or I just find it "pops" into my head.
Speaking of the head, I have discovered on this spiritual path, that these "popped into MY head" moments are really just an illusion. How could I have an idea out of the blue? And sometimes these ideas are clearly not mine. What is that?
Well, with that said, this quote seemed to be exactly the point. And I invite you today to turn off the mental/thinking part of you that just has to make sense of everything and just watch, observe, and wonder about it all. That's what I call "the heart."
From the book Sage Advice by Tomas & Joan Heartfield, Ph.D.
“The information age is over-rated. We have too much information. What we really need is more heart connection. The world wants to be transformed into love. It happens whenever one person chooses to look through the lens of the heart.”
Four Ways to Teach the Truths that Transform the World
Our real spiritual development is under invisible laws: To grow, we must learn. To learn, we must teach. To teach we must lead. To lead, we must make mistakes. Making mistakes tills the ground of us, making it receptive to new and higher lessons, and thus the positive spiral completes itself, even as it rises above its original starting point.
Following are four ways to teach the truths that transform the world we live in, even as we ourselves are transformed by our own actions.
1) We teach others when we do not react in alarm to some potentially frightening news or event. The world around us receives the lesson that those events – in themselves – do not have the power to make or break the awakened soul. Our lesson – if we will teach it – is to see that we need not ride along on our own three-alarm nature that loves getting set off.
2) We teach others when they can see us laugh at our own mistakes. The world around us receives the lesson that there is a big difference between making a mistake and thinking of oneself as being a mistake. Our lesson – if we will teach it – is to see that any compulsive wish to be seen as perfect in the eyes of the world is a punishment that can never be a part of our true peace and contentment.
3) We teach others around us when we won't give voice to complaint. The world around us receives the lesson that there are superior ways to handle times of discomfort or disappointment that do not include expressing negative emotions. Our lesson – if we will teach it – is to see that we can use passing dark states to awaken to and realize an interior wisdom that knows how to use everything for its own growth.
4) We teach others whenever we refuse to psychologically defend ourselves – be this against simple sarcasm or even vicious slander. The world around us receives the lesson that what is true needs no defense and that what is false cannot be defended. Our lesson – if we will teach it – is the realization that people only feel the need to attack what frightens them and that we need never live in fear of any frightened person.
Take these suggested exercises and work with them to teach the truths that transform the world around and within you. Make up your own exercises based on the lessons you know that life is asking you to learn. Always strive to remember that anything we work to change in ourselves cannot help but change everything. What can be more promising than that?
By Guy Finley via Positive Thoughts
In the book, A Course in Miracles, we are told that any significant relationship (that which exceeds a ride in the elevator, for example) is spiritually assigned. We are put before people, or they are put before us, so that we may all learn lessons and further our skills (and, I suspect, our souls).
So for today, see everyone through this lens. All of your co-workers are spiritually assigned. None of them is random or without purpose for you.
Too much to swallow? Seem unlikely? Are you thinking something like, "I wanted God/Goddess/The Universe to send me the people he/she/it wants me to work with...but THESE GUYS??? That one is "spiritually-assigned"?? No way!" ?
The alternative is to believe this today: God/Goddess/The Universe got it wrong.
As mentioned, in the last days volume of the Daily Message, I've decided to "come clean"and profess (or confess) that work is my spiritual playground. I'm not sure where these Daily Messages will take us with this focus, but I would offer I NEVER know. That's part of the spiritual aspect in my work.
Nowhere else am I more clear than in my career, that I am doing spiritual work. I have completely 'surrendered' the notion that I am in control, building a reputation, striving for success or 'being all I can be.' As a side note, work is the ONLY place where I have this clarity, and so it bears mentioning that this is also the place where I AM most successful in my life. Huh.
I woke up this morning, a little excited, knowing I was going to jump into the deep end of the pool on this. It's been over 20 years that I've kind of hidden this truth. I worked for Corporate America and now I work for my local government...and all the while I've had this consulting/coaching/writing career in the wings, and I've done the "blue suit" thing so that I didn't scare away my customer and coworkers. Sales people, cops, executives, elected officials...I have the MOST resistant people in front of me for this task. And that's how I like it.
I've had people who know about my beliefs (does it matter what I believe really?), ask why I don't teach or write or coach to a more receptive crowd. My answer is, "Because they don't need this information. They are ALREADY on board."
And even as I write this, I have no idea where it's going, but I trust and KNOW that it will turn out like it should. I turned it over, long ago, to the Universe, the Highest Good, my Highest Self to handle. "Let my words, my actions, my fingers...do what needs to be done. Move my ego to the side here. Let me leave these people, whomever they may be, better than I found them, so they may move out into their world, and leave the people they touch better off than they found them...." That's kind of my daily prayer. At least, at work.
No one likes a long Daily Message, so I'll close this now. We have a whole month on this...or maybe it will only be a week...or maybe it won't end here. I never know. It's not up to me :)
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