Wake Up to Reality
Many people's lives are constantly punctuated with little fits or tantrums in which they express their rejection of what's happening. What are the thoughts that come at these moments? "I'm hopeless," "If he hadn't done that....," "She always...," "I knew better than to do this."
Many of these thoughts are about what you would have done if you'd known better, or seen it coming, or remembered. You think that if you had done something other than what you did, you could have stayed in control of events. "Oh sh*t!" marks the point where reality and your plan parted ways. Things don't seem to be going your way, and to the best of your ability you're going to fight reality, even if all you can do is swear, kick a rock, or give someone you love a hard time.
See full blog entry.
Don’t Get Carried Away
A small negative incident happens and you allow it to grow and assume great importance. While you are carried away by this incident, it seems you are going somewhere in a definite direction. When the force weakens, you become anxious because you feel in your delusion that you are losing your sense of direction. You then latch on to the next negative force. Such is your day. Be alert to this and go through the strain and pain of not getting carried away.
(From Vernon Howard's website)
Actress Thandie Newton discusses self, personality, our innate awareness of who we are stemming from her painful childhood. Wonderful viewing.
Transcendence — a mantra meditation, repeating a specific word or phrase
Divine Feelings — deep quiet exploration of the higher emotions thru your body sensations.
Reflection — asking yourself profound questions repeatedly. The great spiritual teacher and mystic Ramana Maharshi was a powerful influence on me personally – and he had us go deep into the question ” Who am I” …
Self Regulation — sensing, exploring, and changing body functions
Love What Is...Life Coaching is a page on Facebook that is influenced by the work of Byron Katie.
Here's an example of the kind of posts they regularly offer. I think this makes for a great plan for today!
Today's Challenge: Find a benefit in every seemingly negative thing that happens to you, for just one day.
You Are Wrong!
The title got your attention, didn't it? And NOT in a good way.
Aren't you feeling a little agitation right now? I bet you are. This is the normal response to being told we are WRONG. Your intention in reading further may even be to prove to me that you are NOT wrong, but quite right. And you don't even know what we are talking about yet!
This attitude is why we have conflict. Conflict is caused by the desire to be right. Think about an argument you have recently had. Was it with your spouse, co-worker or who was next in line at Target? It doesn't matter WHO is was, or what you THINK about them, or even what the actual FACTS were. What generated the conflict was your need to prove you were right about whatever happened.
In any given situation that involves conflict (whether that is aggressive conflict or polite conflict, it hardly matters) you would be better off in the long run to give up your irresistible need to be right EVERY TIME. You may wish to fight to the death on some issue that is important to you---and those fights are likely the ones that define who you are and what you stand for. But when you are fighting over who took the garbage our last or were you the next one in line, you may need to see where your need to be right is getting in your way.
Dr. Robert Bolten, bestselling author of "People Skills" states, "My research indicates that 95% of all conflict stems from our irresistible need to be right. Our conflict would greatly diminish if we gave up this mindset."
So how do we go about changing this mindset? Following are a couple of quotes based on Dr. Stephen Covey's Work (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) and to take a quote from this list and put it to work for you. Place it on your computer screen, as a screensaver or post if somewhere you will see often like the bathroom mirror.
"Assertiveness is defined as courage balanced with consideration." ~Dr. Stephen Covey
My interpretation: Have the guts to stand up for yourself, but do it with some manners.
"What is more important ? To be right in your relationships or to be effective in them?" ~Dr. Stephen Covey
My interpretation: On your deathbed, will your last words be "I was loved" or "I was right" ?
One of the most commonly overlooked spiritual practices is daring to be completely honest with everyone you encounter. Some may say others cannot handle their honesty, but true honesty is not a strategy or a weapon of any kind. It is the willingness to be open and absolutely transparent in sharing how any moment feels in your heart. It has nothing to do with confrontation, accusation, or any form of blame. True honesty is the willingness to stand completely exposed, allowing the world to do what it may, and say what it will, only so you may know who you are – beyond all ideas.
Honesty means full disclosure. It is the most obvious means of revealing what truly matters in life. Whatever is capable of being destroyed by honesty is nothing more than a distraction in the grand scheme of things. Conversely, whatever can survive the endless waves of honesty will be recognized as being the most important gifts you’ll have ever discovered. Allow the unwavering grace of honesty to guide you forward and watch your true friends and family be revealed.
From Matt Kahn.
At only 3:27, this video may change your life in under five minutes. Is there something you've always meant to do, wanted to do, but just ... haven't? Matt Cutts suggests: Try it for 30 days. This short, lighthearted talk offers a neat way to think about setting and achieving goals.
From "Whatever You Are, Be a Good One : A Guide to Effectiveness in the Workplace"
Working on the "Disease to Please"
If trying to please others---to the exclusion of pleasing yourself--is a recurring theme for you, you may be feeling like you don't even know what your career goals are, much less how to make the effort to strive toward them.
To facilitate removing this common obstacle, here are some insights to really focus on during this week. Place these quotes in locations where you will see them often. Review the ones you like best upon awakening and before going to sleep for one week:
"Naturalness is the easiest thing in the world to acquire, if you will forget yourself---forget about the impression you are trying to make." ~Dale Carnegie
"The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping." ~Claudius Claudianus
"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." ~Raymond Hull
"Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live." ~Goethe
"People who want the most approval get the least, and people who need approval the least, get the most." ~Wayne Dyer
"Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great." ~Mark Twain
Jolt yourself the next time you get a stab of worry. Don’t leave it unchallenged. Right while you’re suffering from concern, worry, etc. (you’ve been taken over) activate your memory of collected wisdom and apply what you’ve learned here by remembering to do this exercise.
Jolt yourself — even physically shake your head — then physically relax. Truth never breaks its word to any conquering man or woman. Truth is always faithful.
You do what is true, right in the middle of the sobbing worry thoughts that attack you. You will put yourself on your true side. You will make a deliberate conscious effort to get away from yourself, from Slumberville, from that state that has captured you. Here’s what will happen: All of a sudden, there will be a breakthrough. You don’t want to be pained, suffer anymore. While you were worried, you didn’t know you were. You loved that worry.
This is July's lesson from Vernon Howard. I highly recommend spending some time on his site, A New Life.
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